For the past three weeks that I have been home there are some things that are bothering me and I could not just tell it to anyone. So, I decided to blog it and share it to all my readers and hopefully this will help me.

How to get a guy out of your mind?!!  Should I knock my head off on the wall? Should I go for a head surgery?  Or should I just leave things like that and hope that it will just go off one day. Pathetic eh? I hate to admit it ,but I have been disturbed by someone in the past and I could not believe that the "little something" that we have could affect me in some ways. I guess I had not had the chance to get to know him well or maybe I just do not have the courage to push him out of my mind. However, the big question is "do I like him or not?" I mean I have been avoiding liking someone since I had those heartaches from last year where I learned that some men could be an asshole sometimes, mind my word. And, every time I meet a guy I treat them the same as they treat girls. Many of you may think that I am a man hater but first I do not hate guys ,but I do hate their deeds and it pissed me off.

Honestly, I have been thinking of how I could avoid him the next time we see each other and I am hoping that we will not be seeing each other all the time because that will really sucks. I had been wishing that I could find someone who I could hang out with for this summer.....just for this summer, which will definitely help me take my mind out from the things that are bothering me.

The other thing that not only bother me but it scared me every time I think about it is my work in PSG. Last year I used to work in the shop in the same company but this year I will be working in the office with my dad as one of my boss. Ohh boy!!  BIG pressure on me since I don't have any experience working in the office before and I don't like to be a pain in the ass to my boss or to my co-workers just because I don't know how to do that or do this.

I will be starting my work on Monday and as that day go nearer I feel more pressure and nervous.  I'm wondering what will happen on my first day of work? ha? Damn! I'm stressed-out and I could not control myself from thinking and doing things that I should not be thinking or should be doing at the first place.

How I wish I had a shot of tequila or vodka right now? It will surely take my worries away although it will not help me all the way.  Ohh why do I worry with little things, I think its girl's nature eh?! What should I do now ha?

Say what?!!

Last exam done!

Breathe and relax!

I am glad that my last exam is done  and now all I have to do is relax and enjoy the 2 weeks vacation before I start working in PSG. Exams almost killed me because most of the time I slept around 3 in the morning studying or doing essays.  Don't you just hate being a student?! It's worth it....I know.

I hope that I will pass all my exams and constantly praying that I will also have a good GPA this year, my last year's GPA was excellent ,but I am eager to get a better and higher marks this term. ***crossed-finger***

Overall, I am just happy and at ease that all my exams are over.  My 2nd year at UNB is over and I am not looking forward on my 3rd year because I will be loaded of school works again. I am double majoring in sociology, anthropology, and a minor in business.  We'll see how will that work.

Thoughts from the ground:

 ...I just give him a GOODBYE KISS... I ended it coz we don’t have anything in common not even a little chemistry to start of. 

 I ain't dumb... I've seen what I want to see...I've experience what it looks like to be JUST A DRUNKEN MATE!

 Adios Amigo!

One is enough, Two is too much!

Anyone wondering why I said that? 

The reason is that because I never thought that meeting, two souls with the same face would affect me. These two souls are driving me insane not because they are doing something bad or annoying but because having two of them with the same face and at the same place is what make things worst. For the past few days, I been studying and observing the differences between these two souls so that when I see “the one” I would recognize him right away but I always failed to recognize him. 

He and I live in the same building but we never talk or hang out before but since our last pub-crawl…. things weren’t the same anymore…now we talk and hangout more often than before and I still couldn’t distinguish him from his twin brother. Yes! I am talking about the TWIN BROTHERS that I never thought I would have to deal. But the more I hang out with this guy, the more I wonder why should there be two of them when I only asked for one.  

Now can someone please tell me what to do!!?!

Anger is like a stranger that gets you into danger

Anger is like a virus that infects your whole being, not even a pill could cure it

Anger is like a wound that takes a while to heal

Anger is a like war, bloody and brutal

Anger is about revenge, making you lost to yourself

Anger is like a knife; it cuts you deep and leaves you a scar to mend

Anger is like a volcano, boiling and explosive

Anger starts to build up like darkness it covers your soul

Anger strikes like lightning destroying everything

Anger comes without any warning; it could hit your skull without your knowing

Anger is unpredictable and uncontrollable; it leaves you brokenhearted

Anger causes people to be in pain, leaving them a scar to tell

Anger is a monster inside your soul; gives you nightmare and it pushes you to the edge

Anger is overboard; it has no limitation and rules to follow  

It’s like a game, you lost or you win.

Thoughts from the ground: Every action you take and word you said, keep my anger in its place. It will not be easy to deal but it will strike you in time.  

            Is it true that when guys get what they want they will leave you hanging on the core? I admit that sometimes I just don’t get how a guy could act like that, I wish that sometimes they could just be more straight-forward and tell the girl right into her face what he thinks and what he wish to happen. What is really the difference between a men and women? Do both sexes act the same or is just really their nature? Are they made to be like that?

          The nature of male and female are different, both sexes think differently which why it is hard to analyze or understand them. According to my research, men are better in spatial, mathematical problems while female are better in vocal skills, and they tend to remember things clearly than men. But this doesn’t mean that the other is smarter and better than the other one, somehow it just shows that both sexes are different in the way they think and do things. Men and women have greater physical differences, men are taller than women are and they weight more than women do. Obviously, men are also stronger than the women are, men could carry heavier things and have the power to do activities that are more physical. These are proven through the greater percentage of participation of men in sports and other physical activities such as going to gym. In terms of behavioral differences, men think of sex more often than women do and they masturbate more than women do too. On the other hand, women are likely to think and analyze things more than men do, and sometimes they go overboard and this is why women are known for being emotional and overreacting when it comes to little things. Men are less concern with their appearance than women are, we spend more time in the bathroom or in front of the mirror looking to ourselves. In the fact that we are more concern of how they look and how other people will look at them.

            My friend once told me that when men is silent and doesn’t talk, it doesn’t simply mean there is something wrong, men are likely to be quiet and that give them the time to think of things clearly. On the other hand, women talks a lot and we like to hear compliments especially from a guy because we love to hear what you think about us.

Those things I mentioned above are generally base on my observation and experiences. I do not mean to humiliate any of them. However, did you ever think of how both sexes handle each other’s differences?

The whole time, I was troubled and pissed because my used to be a reliable laptop is not working very well right now. I was thinking maybe I should just throw it out of my small window, let it crash into the ground, watch as it scatter into pieces and leave it there until the snow covers it. But, do I really have the nerve to do it and will I ever feel accountable if I did it?    

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